Oh, Baby!!

Almost a year ago I started volunteering in a local hospitals Special Care Nursery. Once a week I rock newborn babies, fold blankets, and answer the nursery door. I do have some nights that are rather slow, but many nights are busy. During this past year I have been puked and pooped on, watched nurses respond to a not so healthy baby, witnessed first baths and feedings. I have seen tears of joy and frustration from parents - I have heard faint cries and loud whales from babies. There have been seas of proud Grandparents and waves of monitors beeping.

For the most part I don't know why the babies are in the nursery. I have seen some obvious reasons, but I don't know how or why many of them are sick. Some of them are only in for a short period of time, and some I have seen week after week.

I have taken care of babies whose mom made the best choices possible during pregnancy and I have taken care of babies whose mom did not make good choices during pregnancy. All of these babies have something in common - they are in the Special Care Nursery and it is my job to comfort them while I am there.

There is nothing that bothers me more than a baby who has to pay for decisions made during pregnancy. These decisions affect the baby before and after they enter the "world." After several shifts in the SCN it is easy to spot these babies.

I was rocking one of these babies tonight. Actually, I was stewing and just happened to be rocking one of these babies. I was stewing, and stewing, and stewing.

How could God allow this to happen? Why does this child have to pay? How come people who would be wonderful parents cannot conceive? Why would someone harm an unborn child?

For the next coupld of hours: stew, stew, rock.....stew, stew, rock......stew, stew, rock.....

The baby was asleep in my arms - all snuggled in :)

Then it hit me. God hit me.

There was a knock on the door. A little, past SCN patient, walked in the nursery. The nursers surrounded the family. They were excited to see the parents, however their attention was on the baby. This little baby - under 10 months old - WALKED into the nursery. Walked! I heard them say that the baby had spent its first 2 weeks of life in the hospital.

Obviously, a lot of time has passed since that baby's stay in the hospital and I am not sure of the diagnoses at birth. What I do know is that God spoke to me at the moment. He reminded me of His plan and His healing power.

He healed that baby. Not only was the baby healthy, but it was a WALKING miracle. Have you seen a baby that small walk?? The shoes were bigger than their legs!! The dad bragged and said that the baby had been walking for over a month already!!! :)

As I changed my pattern to: stew, rock, rock......stew, rock, rock......rock......rock......rock....... I realized that I don't know what the future holds for the baby in my arms, I don't know all about the choices that were made before birth. God knows - He has a plan - and a reason.

That baby in my arms has made great strides and will continue to do so. God is the ultimate healer. The ultimate doctor. God heals. I saw it tonight when His patient walked! How awesome is that?!

All Things Are Possible,
Stephanie Miller

They didn't call you Grand for nothing......

Dear Grand Prix,
Gotta say, I'm gonna miss you.......

I saw the way that you looked at that mini the other day. Don't take it personally - you just were not big enough for us.

You have been a wonderful car - never stalled or died - never left me hanging, got me where I needed to go - a little faster than expected, you made me feel toasty warm in the winter - crazy cool in the summer, you kept me company for the 1 .5 hours I needed you each day.....

We had 2.5 wonderful years together. Sad to say good-bye. If I could keep you....I would.

I hope that your new family listens to music as loudly as I did, drives as fast as your are used to, and keeps you inside in the winter......

Good-bye Prix.....

Gotta run, I'm late for soccer practice.......

Love,
Stephanie

Final Lap

The school year is winding down. We have 10 school days left!! The past couple of months have been full of mixed feelings. I was sad to leave to leave the school, scared to think that my life is going to change, nervous about not bringing home a paycheck. Then I would become happy that I get to say home with Grant, excited to begin this new adventure.

I still have some mixed feelings, but I am leaning towards very excited! I feel like I am ready for this change and excited to see what is to come.

We still cannot afford for me to quit, but that is not something for us to worry about. We know that God will meet our needs - in His time.

As I count down the days, we pray for guidance and direction. I have know what I want to do when I am done working, but we are waiting to see if that is what God wants me to do.

Our journey has already been full of highs and lows. We feel like we are on a roller coaster. Brad says that the ride has just began, I would like to think that we are in the middle of the ride :) Right now we just live day by day - trying to live His will for our lives!!!

Keeping my arms and legs inside of the vehicle,
Stephanie Miller